Tuesday, 6 March 2007

Crackhead in the Wendy House

Things that are that shouldn’t be. Things that aren’t but should.

1. Joe Strummer is dead and Phil Collins is still alive.

Why is serial adulterer, dreary prog-rocker turned winebar pop dirgester still kicking, while a true hero, a lyrical master and punk visionary Joe Strummer not?

2. The NME is still publishing and The Face died.

The NME, a junior common room of pant-wetting hyperbolists goes incontinent over any four boys with fringes, while The Faces’ refusal to put tits on its front cover consigned it to E-Bay back-edition ignominy.

3. We have bendy buses, not hover cars

The future of travel was supposed to be a personal hover car, with a bubble roof, not an overextended, junction-blocking, incendiary charabanc.

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